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What Do These Correlations Know About Reality? Nonlocality and the Absurd

In honor of Daniel Greenberger's 65th birthday I record for posterity two superb examples of his wit, offer a proof of an important theorem on quantum correlations that even those of us over 60 can understand, and suggest, by trying to make it look silly, that invoking ``quantum nonlocality'' as an explanation for such correlations may be too cheap a way out of the dilemma they pose.

preprint1998arXivOpen access

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