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A Theory of Ambulance Chasing

Ambulance chasing is a common socio-scientific phenomenon in particle physics. I argue that despite the seeming complexity, it is possible to gain insight into both the qualitative and quantitative features of ambulance chasing dynamics. Compound-Poisson statistics suffices to accommodate the time evolution of the cumulative number of papers on a topic, where basic assumptions that the interest in the topic as well as the number of available ideas decrease with time appear to drive the time evolution. It follows that if the interest scales as an inverse power law in time, the cumulative number of papers on a topic is well described by a di-gamma function, with a distinct logarithmic behavior at large times. In cases where the interest decreases exponentially with time, the model predicts that the total number of papers on the topic will converge to a fixed value as time goes to infinity. I demonstrate that the two models are able to fit at least 9 specific instances of ambulance chasing in particle physics using only two free parameters. In case of the most recent ambulance chasing instance, the ATLAS γγ excess, fits to the current data predict that the total number of papers on the topic will not exceed 310 papers by the June 1. 2016, and prior to the natural cut-off for the validity of the theory.